Ahoy, ye scurvy dogs! It’s September 19th, and you know what that means! Aye, once again it be talk like a pirate day - one o’ t’ few days where you can talk like a pirate and not have people look at you like you be completely insane. You can even be dressin’ up like a pirate or a crew o’ pirates. Arrggh, look at that handsome family on t’ port up thar. They be knowin’ how t’ have a good time.

For those o’ you a bit unsure o’ what t’ do and how t’ act today, I’ve included a primer below from YouTube t’ give you a brief language lesson - six minutes o’ this and you’ll be “Ahoy-in’” and “Avast-in’” with t’ best o’ Blackbeard’s crew.

If ye be sendin’ email today, consider runnin’ that email through t’ English-to-Pirate translator t’ give it that proper pirate flavor. Or just browse through t’ Talk Like A Pirate site for all sorts o’ piratical goodness that will give you t’ proper pirattitude t’ fully enjoy t’ day (and waste incredibly loads o’ time as well). For full enjoyment o’ the day, be sure t’ generate yourself a pirate name! Here be one site t’ do it for ye.

For those sin’le bucanneers out thar, I’ve included a list o’ t’ top 10 pickup lines for you t’ use this evenin’ when you go out wenchin’. You can also view these at t’ talk like a pirate day website

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I’d love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How’d you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Every year in High School we were marched down into the school gym for the fall sports pep rally. This always took place near the end of the week, at the end of the day, with the upshot being that you got to miss the last period of class as well as yell with your classmates. Great fun. The highlight of the rally would be Varsity Football Coach Gerry Rardin givingwhat became known to my friends and I as The Heart and Guts Speech.

Like most of Rardin’s speeches (and bearing striking similarities to his teaching style) it would always start out the same

Fellas, I’m going to tell you a bit about this team.….

Coach would then go on to introduce the team captains (cheering) review the schedule for the year with special emphasis on our nearby parochial rivals, Hoban and Saint Vincent/Saint Mary (more cheering, booing, and some chanting), and then talk about how the team needed us to come to the games to be the “12th man” on the sidelines.

Near the end of the speech he would lower his voice a bit and slowly move his eyes through all of the students in the bleachers - he’d start with the Freshmen, then move on the Sophomores, the Juniors, and the Seniors. He’d pause until it was dead quiet in the gym, and then he would finish off the speech.

Gentlemen, let me tell you one more thing about this team. If they made a shirt for this team it wouldn’t be a pretty shirt - because on the back would be a big heart and on the front would be a big mess of guts!

Then the room would erupt with cheering and banging on the stands as the Seniors would lead the school in a rousing chant of “We are the Warriors” (ahhh, High School - back when life was marginally simpler, and quite a bit more embarrassing)

Since I first heard that speech 19 years ago, I’ve gotten quite a bit of mileage out of it. It was a funny high school memory to bring up when I would be around fellow alumni. Hell, Erste and I were doing imitations of Rardin back in high school to much amusement of our classmates.

You know what, though? I never really stopped to really think about it. Until the other day at football practice.
Alex is in his forth year of football, with this being his third year in full pads. Alex loves football - he’s always concerned that he’s going to be late for practice, so we normally get to the field 15-20 minutes before it starts. On game day, he’s even worse - one time last year we beat the coach down to the field. He loves his team and his teammates - being a Manchester Panther is a big deal for Alex. One of his favorite possessions is a model football player painted up as a Panther with Alex’s old number and name on it - a present from one of his favorite coaches, Rocky, and his wife Michelle last year.

Understand that my son is not a natural athlete - he’s not gifted with great overall speed, he’s not very quick, and he’s of average size and average speed. He understands football at a basic level, but there are many nuances of the game that are beyond his grasp right now. He’s mild-mannered and tentative at times - sometimes it seems he has a fear of hitting or being hit, of hurting someone or being hurt. Like any other kids, he has his days where he whines, where he acts like a brat, where he is rude - but very rarely does that extend onto the field.

There are practices where he’s treated as a living tackling dummy by the first team offense and defense. He’ll get knocked down, battered, bruised. He’ll get up slowly, he’ll get up crying.

But he gets up and gets back in there. Tears may be streaming down his face, but he’s in his three-point stance waiting for another crack at the guy across from him. Sometimes - more often now then in the past he gets his guy, he puts it all together. In games, Alex may only be in for six or seven plays, but as long as he does his job, as long as he helps his team he’s happy.

There are many things that Alex is good at - swimming, piano, reading, school all seem to come easy for him. Sports, though - those are hard. He has to work at sports - baseball, basketball, and football. The others - well, those are more effortless.

It hit me the other day - like Alex, I had it easy with most of the things that I did as a child. The things that I didn’t have easy - well, unlike Alex I took the easy way out and avoided them. Alex may not always succeed, but he tries - and I admire him for it and take pride in it.

It was the other day where I finally listened to the words I had joked with for so many years, the other day where I finally made the connection. Rardin’s Heart and Guts shirt isn’t just for those long forgotten Walsh teams I cheered on. It’s for guys like Alex too.